


for you to be happy

by talonyth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 12:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3850939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After three years abroad, Hinata comes back for a volleyball club reunion with a heavy heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	for you to be happy

Hinata stares at the flickering letters on the ancient monitor for what feels like an eternity without being able to properly compute the unity of those, forming words and ultimately a sentence. It’s simple yet it hits him like a brick into his face. 

Something about a club reunion to see what has become of everyone, to meet again like in old times back in high school. Their volleyball club back then, Hinata has never forgotten about it and he doesn’t plan on ever doing it yet it leaves him with a feeling of uneasiness. 

He does want to see them again, especially the upperclassmen he hadn’t heard from in a while - or anyone, in fact. Ever since he’s been working as a photographer, he’s seen too much of the world and too little of what had once been so familiar to him. It’s a fulfilling job yet exhausting at the same time. Full of impressions, of new sceneries and panoramas, every day. It becomes overwhelming, at times. 

For three years, or so, this has been what Hinata has been busy with every single day. What once used to be volleyball to him had entirely been replaced by photography. It makes his heart sting. 

He hadn’t given up. But it simply failed to make him happy anymore as it used to. He did stay on court, even after high school. For a time of 5 years after graduation, volleyball still had been the very essence and core of his life. His - and Kageyama’s. 

It gradually faded though. Like a sun setting, painting gradients of ever darker hues onto the sky as it lowers, the same happened to Hinata. At that point, photography had been his last resort despite having been a hobby and nothing else. He had nothing more but a blog, uploaded some pictures of his travels across the country with his team every now and then - and caught the attention of a particular writer for documentaries whose name he turned out to know from elsewhere entirely. 

“Oh, a club reunion?” 

A familiar voice startles Hinata and he nearly crushes the old computer’s mouse in his hands. “Iwaizumi-san, don’t scare me like that?!”

Iwaizumi snickers and pats Hinata’s shoulder lightly. “Sorry, you looked so concentrated and I was curious. It’s a good thing though. You haven’t seen everyone in a while and you’ve been complaining about how you can barely talk to them on our travels.”

“...Because there is no internet in the jungle. Or mountains. Or anywhere we go, for that matter,” Hinata replies, a reproach going along he didn’t quite mean to state. “But it’s not like it’s not the same for you. Sorry, I get frustrated about that a lot…”

“It’s alright, I understand that. You’d think I don’t get homesick but trust me, I’m just playing cool,” Iwaizumi says and lets out a sigh. 

It had been a surprise to Hinata back then seeing Iwaizumi face to face - and being recognized after years of not having seen each other. Even in high school, it was not like they had frequently met each other. A few times on court and what Hinata knew from stories Kageyama used to tell him but other than that… Still, after having exchanged countless messages online, not knowing each other’s real names and Hinata feeling like he could take a gamble at the offer of working at a project with a fairly known writer, he ended up being something like Iwaizumi’s partner, in a way. 

It’s odd to put things like that when someone else used to have that name for such a long time. 

Which brings Hinata’s eyes back to the screen, flickering dangerously as if it would turn off every second. “...I want to see them again…”

“Nothing is keeping you. Tell them you will go and let’s go back home for a week or so. I think we deserve to have some time off, especially because we’ve managed to finish the last few articles in less time than usually.”

“Probably because we still have a lot of information from when we were here in South America the last time. You used that, right?”

“Yeah, most of it is still from a few months ago. It’s not like anything about that changed and I hadn’t managed to mention nor focus on some relevant points in the last article so I am glad I did it this time. The photos are all brand new, though. And much better than the previous ones. You have improved a lot during the last three years, Hinata.” 

Hinata nods with a complacent grin and absentmindedly writes a reply telling them that he will attend the reunion, scribbling down the date onto his hand and being reprimanded by Iwaizumi that he should do it properly or else he would forget it as soon as the ink washes off. 

He doesn’t. He couldn’t. 

It’s about a month later that Hinata stares at the door of the small restaurant they all wanted to meet in. Not everyone had found the time to come so they were just a small group but nonetheless, Hinata is excited to see them again. 

High school had been a great time altogether, even the harsh memories are still something Hinata holds dear. He is sure he would have never been able to grow into who he is now without everything that had happened during that times, without having had played volleyball at Karasuno. Without… 

He enters the restaurant, taking a deep breath, and expects a loud crowd but instead, there are only a few persons sitting at different tables - and none of them is a familiar face to Hinata. Did he… get the wrong place? He steps inside carefully and looks around, only to hear his name being called out. 

“Hinata!”

He turns to the owner of that voice and his heart sinks. It’s Kageyama, alright, and he knows that years ago, this would have never been his reaction upon seeing him. If anything…. if anyhow… 

Kageyama waves him over and Hinata’s steps towards him feel like lead. There has never been a fight, never some sort of… breakdown but the way he left Kageyama makes him feel bitter even now. 

When Hinata had taken Iwaizumi’s offer, met up with him to clear things up and how their work would continue, he had thought about how to tell Kageyama. Whether to tell him at all. That would have been the most cowardly decision he could have ever taken though and he would have hated himself more than he does now. 

So he told Kageyama. About how he used to be happy playing volleyball and how it was one of the single most important things in his life. About how proud he used to be that he had gotten on a professional team, no less with Kageyama together. About how slowly but surely, he felt like even if he gave 200% it hadn’t nearly been enough to satisfy him - or the team. About how he tried to give more then but reaching no results and about how he finally realized that even for him, even though he never believed it, even for him there was a limit. About how he started to shift, about how photography started giving him the pleasure volleyball failed to and how he’d grown frustrated whenever he thought that suddenly, there was something he preferred, over volleyball. 

It had taken hours, he expected Kageyama to scold him and tell him off even though that wouldn’t have changed his mind and the matter that he had quit. But instead, Kageyama had listened calmly, not interrupting Hinata once even though throughout the hours, he had to take breaks more than once, to calm down and not let himself cry like he regretted his decision. 

Because he didn’t regret it all, and he still doesn’t and that, Hinata finds, is the biggest regret of all, ironically. 

He forces a smile to his lips and prays Kageyama remained as oblivious to this as he remembers him to be as slides in next to Kageyama instead of opposite of him. It gives him the chance to avoid looking at him and Hinata wonders if Iwaizumi would sack him one for this sort of behaviour. He probably would. Very definitely. 

Usually, Hinata is the exact opposite of a coward. He says what he is thinking and it is probably the reason interacting with new people everyday despite not knowing their language properly is fairly easy for him. Even more than before, Hinata has grown to be more sociable and gathering people around him, or so Iwaizumi always says to him. ‘One of the reasons I have you with me, of course.’ Also a thing Hinata could quote in his sleep.

“I knew there were few people coming but really?” Hinata says and lets out a laugh. 

“Actually… they are all still coming. It seems like neither you nor me got the message that the whole reunion thing has been postponed for an hour,” Kageyama replies casually. Hinata glances over to him and--- His hair, it’s slightly shorter than he used to wear it but it makes him seem oddly refreshed - for being Kageyama. Other than that, he looks the same as he remembers him from three years ago. 

“Huh? Really? ...I didn’t check my phone in a while. Kind of grown out of that habit because I don’t have internet most of the time anyway. I can’t even call anyone. It’s scary.” He slips his bag over his shoulder and under the bench they are sitting on. 

“Oh, right. Considering you’re always out in the sticks.” Kageyama snickers and Hinata feels his stomach twist. Even after three years, it’s his favourite thing. To hear Kageyama laugh and to see him grin. Small things, really. Seeing him happy, that’s all. It’s… been so long. “The tan suits you.”

Hinata snaps around, eyes wide open. “Wh-What?”

“Your… tan?” Kageyama says, equally confused and gesturing what Hinata supposes is to mean something like ‘On your skin? Tan? From the sun?’ Even his gestures are full of question marks and it makes Hinata snort. 

“Ah, that, I’m sorry. Yeah, My hair’s gotten a bit lighter too because of the sun! I used to get sunburnt a lot when I started but it seems like I got used to it by now,” he says and prays for his heart to calm down. 

Kageyama nods as if he finally understands and eyes Hinata’s hair with curiosity, reaching out for a lock. “It’s true. It really is lighter. ...And longer.”

_Please calm down quickly, please calm down quickly, please calm down quickly._

Kageyama and him, they’ve had a sort of odd relationship. Natural, without question, to be by each other’s side but it felt like it was unlike whatever else Hinata has heard around him. It was something far beyond friendship, something that was possibly even far beyond what Hinata heard to be called love. It involved both and none at the same time and it seemed like it had been perfectly fine. Even now, even after three years, even after Hinata left claiming to have been unhappy - with his job as a professional athlete, not with Kageyama - it still feels the same. 

And it hurts. 

He’d been thinking about Kageyama a lot during his time abroad, a lot more than he imagined himself capable of. At first he thought it was because he felt guilty. For not keeping that promise of being on top of the world. Together. For putting an expression on Kageyama’s face that he had never never wanted to see again even if he said he understood, that he should do whatever the heck makes him happy and not try to explain why he took this decision. And for that, Hinata was more than just grateful. Even if he felt like Kageyama, again, blamed himself even though nothing, not a single thing, had been his fault at all. 

Hinata runs his fingers through his hair and wonders whether it is because he is home or more aware of it since they are talking about it but it feels fuzzier than it used to. Perhaps because of the sun. Probably. “I don’t have much time to see a hairdresser and Iwaizumi-san’s terrible at it.”

Kageyama pulls his hand back and nods. “Right, how is he doing?”

“He’s fine, he came with me back to Japan, though he stayed in Tokyo to go and visit Oikawa-san, I think. He didn’t make up his mind whether he wanted to meet up with all his friends at once or one after another.”

“Oh, I see. Yeah, that makes sense. You don’t get to come back here a lot, do you?”

Hinata shakes his head. “This is actually the first time in three years I am back in Japan. It’s sort of unbelievable how quickly the time passes when you are travelling.” 

Kageyama takes a sip from his glass and nods absently. 

The day Hinata left, Kageyama saw him off. It wasn’t a big fuss. As if Hinata left for a mere couple of days and would come back soon enough. He knew he wouldn’t and so did Kageyama. And in hindsight, Hinata knows that a different goodbye would have been far worse than a simple one like that. A ‘Do you have everything?’ at home and a ‘Take care’ at the airport and a hug that felt tight enough to be reassuring that he could come back any time but light enough to tell him that Kageyama meant what he had said, that he wants to let him go if it makes him happier. 

Just when did he become like this? Hinata remembers that in high school, Kageyama started out as the single most egocentric person he had met although Hinata later learnt that it had never been his intention, that he was simply incapable of comprehending the way others were thinking. And that, he tried to fix. Over so many years, Hinata needed some time away to realize just how different Kageyama has become.

“I missed you.”

Hinata turns to Kageyama who looks at him with eyes so fond it makes his heart hurt, twist and wind, that he opens his mouth and closes it right back again not to let out the sobs piling up in his throat. 

“Yeah,” he breathes eventually, sliding in closer to Kageyama and leaning his head against his shoulder with vision blurry, “So did I.”

**Author's Note:**

> the prompt for this was meeting again at a high school reunion and i admit it's a bit. well, there was no reunion in the end (or well, after the actual story) but i had this idea when i was wrecking my head about how kagehina would even be separated from each other. it's hard to imagine for me that either of them would do anything else than volleyball but i hope i still managed to write this convincing enough!


End file.
